so far behind

It's almost funny.  I knew that I started a blog, but haven't been able to find where I started it.  Today, searching through my bookmarks for the school district website I find it.  Nice, until I see that I haven't posted since last summer!  So much for accountability and for being good at something.

Today has been a bit of a blur.  I woke up with a headache, which is always bad.  Off to speech therapy with the boy, who tells me that his stomach hurts and he feels like he is going t throw up.  Great.  We head home, I call the school to tell them that he won't be in school and we lay down.  He was up in a couple hours but I was down for the count.  A couple more painkillers and there is just a dull throb.  I will be able to fix dinner, but my plans for today need to be done tomorrow.  Tomorrow's plans will be put on hold till next week. Oh well.

Aug 18

Stress.  It is a constant for me.  It isn't that I think I have more of it than anyone because I know I don't.  In fact, we are pretty lucky, pretty healthy, my husband has a job, we have a house that we own.  We have so much more than many, yet I cannot help but worry.  I worry about everything, but mostly it seems to be about what people think of me.  "Why do you care" people ask.  The short answer is that I shouldn't.  The long answer is that I want people to see me how I want them to see me.  I want to be a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, homemaker, cook, financial planner, driver, judge of character, gardener, you name it.  I want people to think I am good at things.  In reality I try to be good at those things, but I don't really think I am. 

I guess I am having a "blue" day.  I am over tired and I spent an afternoon trying to keep calm during a chaotic afternoon with my boy and a friend who's parenting philosophies are not the same as mine.  Our AmEx card had the credit limit lowered on the same day my husband flew into Nova Scotia in a business trip and needed to use that card.  Keep in mind that we haven't used the card in 2 years.  We are not using credit cards and are trying to pay off the balances.  I have send an automatic payment of atleast $50 over the minimum due since Jan.  and the time that we need to use the card, they tell me that I have $133 of available credit left.  I and quite frustrated and have a rude agent, and I manage to extend my available credit to $700 through Thursday when husband will be home.  Now as long as they do it and his card isn't declined when he goes to check out of his hotel room-

Well, enough of my ramblings, I should fix dinner, Andy already nuked a chicken patty for himself.... see, I am failing at motherhood yet again.

Aug 16

Lets see how this blogging thing works.  I enjoy reading blogs of people who enjoy the same things I do or who are experiencing the same things I am.

My world centers around my family.  I am a stay at home mom of an 8 year old boy with a few minor issues.  I am trying to make a run of an eBay business, trying to loose weight, trying to save money, trying to keep my house clean.... trying to simplify my life.

I am thinking that writing will help, kind of like cheap therapy, and maybe even make me accountable to someone/something.  We'll see.