Stress. It is a constant for me. It isn't that I think I have more of it than anyone because I know I don't. In fact, we are pretty lucky, pretty healthy, my husband has a job, we have a house that we own. We have so much more than many, yet I cannot help but worry. I worry about everything, but mostly it seems to be about what people think of me. "Why do you care" people ask. The short answer is that I shouldn't. The long answer is that I want people to see me how I want them to see me. I want to be a good mother, a good wife, a good friend, homemaker, cook, financial planner, driver, judge of character, gardener, you name it. I want people to think I am good at things. In reality I try to be good at those things, but I don't really think I am.
I guess I am having a "blue" day. I am over tired and I spent an afternoon trying to keep calm during a chaotic afternoon with my boy and a friend who's parenting philosophies are not the same as mine. Our AmEx card had the credit limit lowered on the same day my husband flew into Nova Scotia in a business trip and needed to use that card. Keep in mind that we haven't used the card in 2 years. We are not using credit cards and are trying to pay off the balances. I have send an automatic payment of atleast $50 over the minimum due since Jan. and the time that we need to use the card, they tell me that I have $133 of available credit left. I and quite frustrated and have a rude agent, and I manage to extend my available credit to $700 through Thursday when husband will be home. Now as long as they do it and his card isn't declined when he goes to check out of his hotel room-
Well, enough of my ramblings, I should fix dinner, Andy already nuked a chicken patty for himself.... see, I am failing at motherhood yet again.
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